As the years went by I reached out to squash the drama, yet again. It worked for awhile(on social media) & things were cordial there. Remember how I said we'd run into each other again? We did in person and things were as awkward as ever. Maybe I was imagining stank faces, rude glares or just no conversation. I would nudge my husband like "did you see that?? what's her deal we smiled at her! why's she so fake??" & now comes the broken record part, "Well, she's just different. Either way you have to love her the same regardless of the attitudes you get." I still didn't get it. It happened a couple other times and I was just fed up trying to play Nancy Nice Pants. I started putting out the same energy I'd been getting and it didn't go unnoticed. *insert broken record here* "Crystal we live according to the word & God doesn't want us to treat people how they treat us" As much as I didn't wanna hear that I knew it was true.
Besides that whole little issue there's been other circumstances where I've basically heard the SAME thing.
"As long as you do your part and have a clean conscious it shouldn't matter if they love you back or show it the same way. That's what makes true love. Loving someone without expecting anything back. What if God judged you the same way you're acting? God has blessed us in a tremendous way, and we fail him time and time again. Im sure he gets frustrated and annoyed with us just like you're feeling. Yet He doesn't avoid us. He continues to love us and care for us even when we dont deserve it.....Anger and hurt, if you let it, will continue to grow into grudge and bitterness. And nobody should live in that. Its more for you and your life and of course your relationship with God"(I actually got that text earlier but for a whole different reason than girl drama. I just felt it was applicable here) My good ol broken record playing again.
Obviously its a sign that things need to change. If I wanna see change on the outside I have to work on the inside. More prayer and listening to Gods word. Like FULLY listening to it. I appreciate the ones around me who see what I should work on and care to say it enough times so that it sticks. Trust me, Im not perfect...noooooo where near it! Im not saying Im gonna be Mother Teresa from this point on but I will try to work on living my life to better please God. & if that means swallowing my pride to be the bigger person I'll do it try to do it. Are you dealing with the same dilemma? If so we'll be on this journey of growth together! We can even share some tacos at the finish line ;) or whatever else is your cup of tea! Falling along the way is totally cool its how you get up that really matters. I'll share with you some scriptures that Im working on:
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32
"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;" Luke 6:37
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